Rage :.
I should invest in a Rock Band set for the Wii.. or a decent boxing bag and a pair of pink gloves. I’ve got a lot of unspent rage inside.. and I find myself getting furious over the miniscule things because I can’t get angry about the big things that are bugging me in life, and maybe the world would be a safer place if I got my anger out by banging my heart out on the drums on Rock Band, instead of taking it out on the road.
I found myself getting really steamed about a carfull of idiots who had parked on my bridge while waiting for someone’s CNY Open House earlier this afternoon. I honked the hell out of them and then proceeded to give them the ‘Christine, car from hell’ treatment. But then again, who told you to park on MY bridge and not move when you saw my car coming.
I’m kinda messed up right now. My brain is being bi-polar.. One moment I’m laughing over some hilarious video in the intarwebs, and the next second I’m sobbing because the issue that’s currently pressing me pops back in and sends me to tears.. and then I get angry because I can’t deal with it the way I want to. I want to drown my sorrows in all things illegal.. but I’m trying to be a better person now and not numbing myself when I should be dealing with things. It’s not easy I tell you.
I used to be a lush in the worst way. Waking up to the hair to the hair of the dog.. Now I’ve got a half empty bottle of Absolut Peach in my cupboard that I haven’t touched since my birthday week.
Would it be bad of me if I said that I am contemplating finishing that bottle right now in the worst way to put a damper on my sorrows. Maybe I should just throw away that bottle for the best. I made it to February already without the usual bad stuff.. But then again.. cutting someone right off at the source has a way of making people reprioritize their life after realising how heavily substance dependent they can be.
Maybe I should just invest in that Rock band kit after all.
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